Old News - April 2002
All the news from the past in our Old News Section
For the history and news about future Fructidor bashes click here
Bullshit News
A few months back we did a series of news stories, in a tabloid style, which were complete bullshit. They went down quite well so I thought I'd do some more.
Just Remember all these stories are made up and bear no (or at least very little) Resemblence to the truth !
"I am a Women !"
This is the claim of one Beano Kru member. However we cannot name the member in question, as a legal injunction has been taken out against us publishing the story, similar to the one in the Garry Flitcroft case. However we will try bribe the judge more next time and bring you the story which matters to you.
Chambers in failed Coup !
Adam 'the Lord' Chambers - Danum's very own Tory Boy - was yesterday involved in an attempted coup of the Tory Party leadership. Compaining bitterly after his arrest, Chambers said,
"Were just too liberal these days, I've said time and time again, giving women the vote and educationg peasants gives them ideas and aspirations, it's not good for a strong nation and empire."
The plan only failed after Chambers and his cronies mistook ex-Tory leader William Hague for Iain Duncan Smith. After capturing the hapless Hague they held him hostage, demanding a new leadership. Following a brief panic - as the police forgot who the real Tory leader was - Hague was released.
In other news - Tony Blair yesterday declared himself Emperor-President of the Universe. However this was later rebuffed by the E.U. claiming it would give him an effective monopoly over inter-galatic power. They also cited law 77B/WX?6-FUKU which forbids the declaration of an evil dictatorship on any day beginning with the letter T, except when this day occurs on the 29 February of a leap year, or when the final two digits of the year are a prime number, in which case every day is permissable except Wednesday afternoon.
New Message Board
You will probably be pleased to hear that I have got a new message board, this is in response to the cricticism the neweish message board has received. You can find it by clicking here.
